When I grow up...

I thought I knew what I wanted to be when I grew up. In fact, I had decided on it a little under a year ago. I wanted to work at colleges\universities with on-campus housing. I wanted to be there for freshman who were away from home, who were scared, lonely, unsure, homesick, etc. I wanted to plan and execute freshman orientation to help them get acclimated to their new environment. And to be there for them throughout their college career. I had a freshman adviser, but he worked in the accounting department for the college. He had no training on dealing with students beyond the activities planned for orientation. He was a nice guy (and gorgeous, btw), but it was clearly an employment requirement.
I found graduate programs for exactly that job. I was given tips from my husband's cousin who happened to be going to school for the same thing. I had narrowed my search down to 2 schools, University of Nebraska Lincoln and Western Michigan. Both would require a move, new job searches, etc. Even husband thought it was a great idea and was pretty much on board. I still have at least 2 years to finish my bachelors so that would be plenty of time to research those areas for homes, jobs, schools for the kids and everything else that goes along with moving to a new city\state.

Then husband got approved to go back to school through his company. While I am beyond happy for him because this is something he's wanted to do for a while now, it was also like a punch to the gut. His company is paying for everything but his books. If he quits (either school or work), we have to pay them back. Because he is working full time, he is only going to school part time. 2, maybe 3, classes a semester and we're looking at 7 or 8 years before he gets his bachelors. Which means we are staying here, or somewhere between work (his) and school (his) for a while now. And that depresses me. This is a crappy area. The economy blows, I have been unemployed and desperately searching for a job for almost 2 years now.
Seriously, despite the 'now hiring' signs, McDonald's and every other fast food place turned me down. Overqualified, they said. I realize that. But don't you think that I *need* the job? Why else would I apply for jobs I am way overqualified for? ugh.

I love my kids more than life itself. But I hate being cooped up in the house because we can't afford to take the kids anywhere. I'd love to get out of the house by myself and have conversations. Adult ones, that don't revolve around the Wiggles or who's bubble bath we're using at bath time tonight. If I could get a job, even a part time one, I wouldn't feel so guilty asking husband to do the dishes or a load of laundry.

One of these days, I'll be a part of the workforce again.....