I survived....

....my baby's first day of school. Best part is that she had a blast. She made it through her first day, loved it, and her teacher said she did very well :) There was a bad debacle with the busses this morning. We learned that the district changed their bus schedule and didn't tell anyone. We drove her, walked her in, Topher threw a fit because he couldn't stay at school. Husband was having a hard time leaving her there..haha. Because of the bus mess up, I told her teacher that I would pick her up. Topher and I went in a little early to get her to get there before the crowds. I thought it was cute that two kids in her class couldn't make it a full day of school, they were knocked out cold napping on a rug :)

*TEAR*

My baby starts kindergarten tomorrow morning. Her backpack is ready, her lunch is packed and in the fridge (except a juice box, mommy spaced on that one, Husband is stopping on his way home from work), and her clothes are laid out. Oh, and my camera is charged and ready to go...lol. I am excited because I have signed up for PTA and Lea is signed up for girl scouts. I can't wait!

Lea got a new bed, headboard, and dresser today. The dresser and headboard are *almost* put together. The instructions are very VERY effed up. I got quite frustrated and gave up before I broke anything..lol By the time Lea gets home from school tomorrow, her new bedroom set will be set up.

As far as me, I changed my semester schedule around so that I can be home at night with the kids more. I go Mondays 12-3:30 and Wednesdays 12-10. There will only be one night that I don't put the kids to bed. Luckily, it'll be my mom putting them to bed in their own beds, so I'm happy with that. I am still really excited about becoming a teacher (at some point) so that is a good sign. From the 9 schools I initially found, I knocked one off my list. The one that is the farthest away. I was reading over their program requirements and I don't feel that I would be capable of devoting that much time to that particular program. You need to devote 2-3 hours 3 days a week to observe a local elementary class. With it being an hour drive (one way), I can't see being gone for that long. I feel I can do it more locally. I really want to do this, but I don't want to spend half my day in the car driving here there and every where else.

Follow Your Instincts...

I mentioned the whole getting an education degree and all that. I am going to do it. That thought\idea had been rattling around in my head for months now, but I kept pushing it back. And pushing it back. So last night, when I finally brought that idea to light. I researched schools. I mentioned it to my mom. I talked about it to a few teacher friends.

And you know what? Last night was the best night's sleep I had had in MONTHS.

That right there sealed the deal for me. Getting a communications degree has had me bouncing around career ideas like a fricken pinball machine. Looking back, I was freaked out subconsciously. I didn't know what I wanted to do and that scared me. I left St. Joe because I didn't know what I wanted to do, I felt like I was wasting time and money there. With a teaching degree, there's really no leeway. Its a definitive end to all the work.
I'm finishing the communications degree because I started it. Plain and simple. Plus with the fairly concrete time schedule I'm giving myself, the economy and job situations should (hopefully) be getting way better. And Chris should be close to done with his degree, giving us way more options as far as where we can look for work.
So in about 2 (hopefully less) years, I will be jumping in with both feet :)

Perhaps this will work...

I've been thinking a lot lately about teaching. I'll finish my communications bachelors, but use up my remaining electives taking classes that will go towards an education degree. I loved my social studies and history classes through middle school and high school. I think I would prefer middle school social studies\history. I do want to do it, but I really don't know if it is for me. I definitely need to talk to someone about it. And no family. No one close to me has anything good or bad to say. Husband just says 'I'm behind you, whatever makes you happy'. While I totally appreciate it, it does my decision making process no good. I need someone to discuss the good and the bad with me, that I can seriously debate this with. This is something that will eat up another 4 years (maybe less, if all my general ed courses transfer) and I need to come to the conclusion that this will be good for me and my family.
With the little research I've done, I've come up with 9 schools. The closest being about a mile away, the farthest being 50 miles away. All a do-able driving distance. Although the 50 mile-away campus would be a stretch if I had to go more than 2 or 3 days a week.
Do I have any readers (at all..lol) who can help me in any way?

Where's My Motivation...

...Seriously. I have none. I'm embarrassed and disgusted by how my house looks, but that doesn't push me to do anything about it. I have no interest in doing anything productive. The most I do is a load of laundry but most of the time I end up having to wash the same load at least one more time because I leave the load in the washing machine for too long. Lea starts school on Aug. 25th, Husband starts Aug. 30th, and I go back Sept. 7th. I have two sitters, one that I know of will be coming to my house to sit. I would LOVE to have my house pristine or darn near close, but even knowing this I STILL have no desire to clean. And I hate that.

I love cooking and baking, but I don't do it often because I don't like the clean-up afterwards. I don't want the kids doing projects because of the clean-up. Things are only going to go downhill when I go back to school because then next to nothing will be done.

To top it all off, my mom and I are having a yard sale next weekend, at my house. I have tons of stuff for it, but I need to start to go through it all and start pricing. I'm hoping we do well, we could use the money, if only do to some major grocery shopping.
Fingers crossed that I can get a lot done this coming week....

How Time Flies...

Lea turned 5 today. My first born. It's so hard to believe that she is 5 and will be in kindergarten in a week and a half. I woke her up this morning and presented her with a new outfit (all purple of course), a birthday tiara, birthday girl sash, and button that says 'birthday princess'. Again, all purple :) She had gotten quite a cash-haul during the week and wanted to go to Target. So we went yesterday. She got a Hello Kitty purse, whimzy animal, and the wedding Barbie set (barbie, ken, skipper, kelly).
Today we went bowling with MIL, FIL, and two gals from their church that sit for my kids from time to time. We all had a blast! Believe it or not, my 2 year old and 5 year old BOTH beat me in bowling. None of us broke 100 (except husband), but we had so much fun and that is really all that matters.
Afterwards, just the four of us went to Applebee's for her birthday lunch. It was really nice. In addition to the gifts she bought with her birthday money, she got a 3 pack of Hello Kitty socks, 3 barbie dresses, a minivan that goes with a dollhouse she has, an outfit for school, a really cute lunch bag for school, and a princess dress.
We are going to my parents this evening to celebrate, swim, and spend the night. Tomorrow at the butt-crack of dawn we are getting up to head to the Illinois Railway Museum to do the Day Out With Thomas with my brother and his kids. I'm just hoping the rain holds off. It's looking pretty ominous out there.

She Did It...

Lea tested into Kindergarten. I know I was a little unsure about her going to kindergarten rather than preschool, especially since she has never been around kids her own age other than family on her own before. But after talking to the principal and hearing what she had to say, I feel confident that kindergarten is the right choice for her. I was a little shocked to see her supplies list. Four 24 packs of crayons, 12 (yes TWELVE) glue sticks, 24 pencils, a 6 pack of dry erase markers? When I was in school we only needed enough supplies for ourselves, not the entire kindergarten. We already live paycheck to paycheck, I can't afford to supply her entire class in crayola and elmers.
Even though I mentioned that I was looking forward to spending my days with just my little man, I can't WAIT to be a room-mom. From kindergarten to 8th grade, my mom volunteered for EVERYTHING in my and my brother's classrooms. I'll never forget that and was so appreciative, I want to do that for my kids. I was lucky enough to have a mom that didn't work outside the home and that she was around to do things like that. Plus as a kindergartner, she can get into Daisies :)

I was unaware....

When I got Topher ready for bed, I told him that he was my handsome boy and he got upset.
'I not handsome!'
'Yeah you are, you're my handsome boy'
'No!  I not handsome. I pretty!'
'.....Noooo, boys are handsome, girls are pretty'
'NO! I PRETTY! EELA (lea) HANDSOME!'

.....ooook....

Side note. We take Lea in tomorrow morning for the should-this-child-be-in-preschool-or-kindergarten test. I am on the fence about this. Kindergarten is 5 days, all day. She's excited and I can't wait for her to get out there and make friends (possibly netting me friends in the process), plus she'd be eligible for Daisies (girl scouts). And I'd love to get to spend time with just Topher. However, I'm not too entirely sure she's ready to be gone all day long. We'll see how it goes.

When I grow up...

I thought I knew what I wanted to be when I grew up. In fact, I had decided on it a little under a year ago. I wanted to work at colleges\universities with on-campus housing. I wanted to be there for freshman who were away from home, who were scared, lonely, unsure, homesick, etc. I wanted to plan and execute freshman orientation to help them get acclimated to their new environment. And to be there for them throughout their college career. I had a freshman adviser, but he worked in the accounting department for the college. He had no training on dealing with students beyond the activities planned for orientation. He was a nice guy (and gorgeous, btw), but it was clearly an employment requirement.
I found graduate programs for exactly that job. I was given tips from my husband's cousin who happened to be going to school for the same thing. I had narrowed my search down to 2 schools, University of Nebraska Lincoln and Western Michigan. Both would require a move, new job searches, etc. Even husband thought it was a great idea and was pretty much on board. I still have at least 2 years to finish my bachelors so that would be plenty of time to research those areas for homes, jobs, schools for the kids and everything else that goes along with moving to a new city\state.

Then husband got approved to go back to school through his company. While I am beyond happy for him because this is something he's wanted to do for a while now, it was also like a punch to the gut. His company is paying for everything but his books. If he quits (either school or work), we have to pay them back. Because he is working full time, he is only going to school part time. 2, maybe 3, classes a semester and we're looking at 7 or 8 years before he gets his bachelors. Which means we are staying here, or somewhere between work (his) and school (his) for a while now. And that depresses me. This is a crappy area. The economy blows, I have been unemployed and desperately searching for a job for almost 2 years now.
Seriously, despite the 'now hiring' signs, McDonald's and every other fast food place turned me down. Overqualified, they said. I realize that. But don't you think that I *need* the job? Why else would I apply for jobs I am way overqualified for? ugh.

I love my kids more than life itself. But I hate being cooped up in the house because we can't afford to take the kids anywhere. I'd love to get out of the house by myself and have conversations. Adult ones, that don't revolve around the Wiggles or who's bubble bath we're using at bath time tonight. If I could get a job, even a part time one, I wouldn't feel so guilty asking husband to do the dishes or a load of laundry.

One of these days, I'll be a part of the workforce again.....